I Know

This heartache is so confusing, so frustrating, so intimidating. Tonight as I think about my day and the hopelessness that comforted me as I felt my pillow below my head last night, I am somehow aware of the glimpse of hope that this day brought.

I know
He never lets go,

In a song, I hear a message of hope.

He never lets go,

A friend speaks to my heart as she tells the story of Jesus and his birth in a manger, thousands of years ago.  A story so dark and a time of such desperation.   A story told of a King born, my Savior, whose birth led to His tragic death on a cross.  A friend who can cry with me and can make me belly laugh almost in the same moment.

He never lets go,

A community of women who meet me where I am.  No judgement in my darkness, just love and a true longing to serve their sister.

He never lets go,

Another bereaved mother pours her honest heart to me.  One message of words strung together so eloquently that they touched my soul...my aching soul was touched.

He never lets go,

Friendships from long ago that are a part of my everyday.  A sister who listens a sister who loves a sister who aches as I ache.

He never lets go,

A family that by most standards is highly dysfunctional, stands firm and stands strong in the gap of my grief.  A family who allows the pain, they allow it because they know it's necessary.  It is so very necessary.   

He never lets go,

This does not take the pain away, but I want others to know if you feel you are being "poked" at to serve another person.  To reach out to someone who is hurting.  Don't let fear push you away.  In just a day's time I saw a glimpse of Him, when the night before I slept with a dark hopelessness. 

If you are the bereaved, allow the honesty and vulnerability of others to serve you.  It's so hard to want to, the isolation feels so safe.  The tears are so heavy and so far beyond a cry, but allow it if only one at a time, allow it.