Saturday, June 23, 2012

Lemons

Oh, the missing is deep today.  The dreaded question, "So does Dylan have any brothers or sisters".  I just dread this question.  I can't say no, I did that once and it hurts worse than just saying what it is.  I stumble over the words that I want to express because I wish so badly for them to not be true.  Yes, he does have a sister, she passed away in October.  I say it like its just a fact, just like that.  The pain is screaming inside my calm voice.  Then the look, the look on their face just makes it worse, I see the tears that swell up.  Then I feel like I have to console them.  Today I longed for sippy cups, onsies, cheerios, a dirty diaper, a sweet laugh, pink, the lemon face I want it all, I want runny noses, sleepless nights, tummy aches, teething...things that I hear mom's complain about, (which are no doubt "complain-able") I want.  I want to join in on the conversations of all the baby woes.  I would take those baby blues over mine any day!  I miss my Kelsie Sloane so very much.

3 comments:

  1. Sweet sister, I love you! Oh Kelsie is so beautiful and funny!! I miss those pictures and videos. It hurts so deep and I hate it for you and Jeff and my sweet Dylan! I love you!

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  2. I love you so much! not a day goes by that I don't think about Kelsie and how much I miss her. I guess my heart will forever be broken this side of Heaven. You, Jeff and Dylan are always in my prayers and I know the Jesus is and will continue to carry us all through the pain of the missing. all my love Mom

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