My eyes are blinded by my tears. Each day I beg for your help, O LORD; I lift my
hands to you for mercy. (Psalm 88:9)
Lord have mercy on this broken heart. This life that is surrounded by sorrow, nine months of empty memories. Do I have nine more, Do I have nine more years? Did you really have me predestined for this life? Somedays I am so sure of You and I am so willing to walk with You, to talk with You. I am so confident in Your will that I can lay down mine. Somedays it is difficult. Somedays my arms are glued to my side unable to rise at the sound of Your name. The brokeness of my tangled wilted heart is too much to bear. I am mobile but somedays it is just a walking skeleton. My mind, my heart, my body, my soul, they groan, they ache to be with You. I am tired of the enemy and the people he uses to come against me. I am tired of constantly praying against the thoughts of my flesh. The guilt, the what if's, the never going to be's it is so much for one tired soul. I need your power within me Father. Help me Lord every second of every day, help me lay down my wants, my desires, give me the strength and discipline to feed Your spirit, Your power inside this weary soul. Allow Your fruit to seep from my pours. Just like You parted the seas for Moses Lord, please I beg that You part the seas of sorrow within my soul, let the world see You. Let the darkenss that hovers over me be overcome with Your light, with Your glory! My body shivers at the thought of the person I would be without you. Please don't leave, please Father don't bring me to the desert. My Abba, my Faithful and True, I long for the day that I ride behind You in a sea of White Horses I ache to see Your many crowns of glory. Until that day, God, I trust~Your love endures forever and ever Amen.