Monday, April 23, 2012

Big Red Bow

Psalm 126:5
They who sow in tears will reap in joy and singing.
I can wrap my heart, my head around the pain, the suffering.  I live it every second of every day, through the laughter, through the smiles, through the newly tanned skin the pain is there.  This is my new song, my somber song.  Can I also wrap my head around good days?  Let's be honest my good days are really my worst days with a bow wrapped around but hey that's something right? 

Yesterday was a good day...not just ok...but a genuinely good day a big red bow kinda day.  My husband held me tight as I raised my hands a praised God in church, he held my hand throughout the entire service.  The sermon was amazing, I praised God for his perfect plan, tears streamed down my face not because of sadness but because of the pure joy that I have in Christ.  His unending faithfulness to me...me, a messed up, hard hearted girl, He continues to just bless my socks off. 

Jeff loves movies, not just movies but he has this fascination with absolutely terrible movies.  It's strange but as in all marriages, compromising is the key.  We saw Cabin the Woods...it's awful...as we got up to leave Jeff looked at me with his cute grin and said "Yes dear, we will see whatever chick flick you want next".  So I watch his terrible movies and he watches my terrible movies.  It's our thing and having a thing is the best part about marriage. 

After the terrible movie we had to have an awesome burger so we ate at Twisted Root and consumed three days worth of calories in one sitting.  It was awesome!   We picked up Dylan and headed home.  The rest of the evening was family time.  We all played in the backyard with Memphis, our puppy.  It's so much fun running around the pool.  Laughing like a normal family, doing things a normal family does.  Kelsie's name was brought up several times but there was happiness in remembering her and her funny quirkiness.  Dylan will sometimes laugh like her and we all just laugh, because it was the funniest most unique laugh. 

Dylan did get in a bit of trouble last night, just being a nine year old boy testing his boundaries.  God provides me with some amazing wisdom when parenting my kiddo.  When I surrender myself and listen to Him it's amazing what is accomplished.  Dylan is disciplined in love and begins to understand not just that he is being punished but the heart of the punishment.  I pray and hope that it not just the behavior but it is his heart that is changed.  Tackle the small stuff now so that when the big stuff comes around Dylan's heart becomes is his protector when we are not there. 

So this was my worst day with a big red bow.  Thank you for this Lord.  I needed to feel like a close knit family.  I needed to hear the laughter from all of us simultaneously.  Thank You!


4 comments:

  1. I love what you said about Dylan's heart changing not just his behavior! I learn so much from you! I pray for more big red bow days! I love you guys!!!

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  2. It so amazing how our prayers are answered..i prayed for your entire family several times yesterday, prayed that you would have some sort of happiness soon because I knew you needed that. I am so glad you had a big red bow day...i will keep praying for many many more

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  3. I soo want to hear this laugh of Kelsie's that Dylan does!!!
    love you guys and SO SO HAPPY for the BIG RED BOW DAY!!!!!!

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