"Why did this happen to me Lord, why me, why my daughter?"
"There is no question that there is pain and intense suffering in this world but I offer myself. I give the knowledge that I have endured the loss of a child also, and I am aware of your pain and your needs. Remember what Jesus said to his disciples, "Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid."8 There is ample reason to be afraid, troubled, but I, your God, can give you my peace, which is greater than the problem before you. I am after all, God, the Creator. The one who has always existed. The one who created a universe and the one who whispers grace to you."
"Oh Lord how do I make it through my days with a burden as heavy as grief?"
I tell you my sweet Summer "Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the
joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the
right hand of the throne of God." (Hebrews 12:2) Remember the joy set before you. Remember why I sacrificed my only son...I did this for you my sweet daughter. Don't forget that I knew before creation that you would be my daughter, my child. Fix your eyes to the hills, remember your help comes from me. I am faithful, I am love, I am your comfort. I love you, I weep with you, I give you my holy spirit so that you feel my presence and I give you my spirit to help guide you through this. I sent my son to the cross so that you have the joy set before you, a joy that has no place in this side of heaven."
"What do I do when I am too sad to hear you, to speak to you? How do I know you are still here?"
Remember the morning you woke up and I had planted the phrase mustard seed in your mind. You listened to my spirit and sought answers. I tell you Summer even with Faith as tiny as a mustard seed, you can say to the mountain, move, and it will move. "Faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see." (Hebrews 11:1) Rather you "feel" that I am with you or do not, I know your heart, I know your every thought and I will NEVER leave you side. You keep the faith, be sure of your hope and keep certain of what you do not see...you will move mountains.
"Some days Lord, this fight is exhausting, my hope is foggy, my heart feels abandoned where do I retrieve my strength?
Summer, remember what Paul said in II Tim. 4:7-8, "I have fought a good fight, I have finished the course, I have
kept the faith: Henceforth there is laid up for me a crown of righteousness,
which the Lord, the righteous judge, shall give me at that day: and not to me
only, but unto all them also that love his appearing." In all of Paul's suffering he knew that I had a crown of righteousness waiting for him. Please keep singing my praises, keep loving me, keep me close to your heart. I love you and I have a place for you here with me, and Kelsie is safe and loved, so very loved!