Monday, February 27, 2012

Praise on the Brain

I love You, Lord
And I lift my voice
To worship You
O my soul, rejoice!
Take joy, My King, in what You hear,
Let it be, Let it be a sweet, sweet sound
In Your ear.

I can't stop singing this song (in my head I promise).  I woke up with praise on the brain.

I spent the weekend in Glen Rose TX at a beautiful B&B with amazing women.  A Hole in my Heart ministry is a grief group for bereaved mothers.  This is a club that no one wants a membership to, but to have fellowship, praise, tears, laughter with other mothers who have experienced your pain and your grief is a gift from God.  It is His kept promise to me that I will not have to go through this alone.  As Autumn said after a prayer "God was all up in there".  All up in there He was.  The highlight for me, and I am going to do my best to recapture this moment in writing...I don't ever want to forget it!

Saturday night after a moving testimony from Susan Gray, we went into praise and worship.  Heather, the praise and worship leader, placed her mic down on the table and asked that we all stand and sing the last song acapella.  Nineteen women from all walks of life, all different in their journey with God, all who had lost a child stood up and as Heather began to sing I closed my eyes.  I sang the song up until "O my soul, rejoice!" then I stopped.  I kept my eyes closed and I listened to all the women crying to God, praising God, worshipping our Redeemer, lover of our soul.  I began visioning each one of the mothers child that had gone to Heaven and I began hearing the voices of children singing.  I saw our children singing in Heaven in complete unison with our praise.  Tears fell one by one.  For the first time in over three months the tears that fell where joyful tears.  I smiled throughout the entire song.   Chills spread throughout my body from the back of my neck to the tip of my toes.  Joy flooded into my soul, my cup overfloweth.  That was the most amazing Spirit filled moment in my life.  I began singing the song again and I stood there, my hand raised, my eyes closed hoping the song would never end. 

How is it that this many women, all who have experienced the most unimaginable loss could stand in a room and cry out to God, praising Him.  Knowing all that has been taken, but still praising God for what has been given.  It's an amazing testimony to God's strength, God's love, God's sovereignty. Most of all it's an amazing story of so many of us who have felt sorrow, who have felt the unimgainable and who clung to our faith and reached for God in the place that He found us!

John 16:22 So also you have sorrow now, but I will see you again, and your hearts will rejoice, and no one will take your joy from you. (Jesus’ words)


14 comments:

  1. Yes I am crying, but it is because all I want for you is a piece joy and happiness so a prayer of mine was answered. I love you!

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  2. I commented but don't know where it went so if it shows up twice I'm sorry. Anyway. First of all...I love love that song too!! I find mysel singing it in stressful mMoments or just extra busy days. Second of all...I had head to toe chills reading this. It usually takes me a few times to get through them but I could feel your peace and smile as I read it. I can almost imagine all the women singing and just the awesome feel of the room! Truely is amazing!! I am so do happy that the weekend was such an awesome blessing for u!! I love u so!! And can't wait to see u!!

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  3. Beautiful Summer. Thank you for sharing such a personal, wonderful moment in your life. I am so glad that you all were able to cry, pray, sing and praise together. It has encouraged my heart and encouraged me to continue singing the unending song no matter the circumstance. Much love my friend!

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  4. Thank you Summer for such beautiful words....you too are such a blessing. Your faith and love for God, your forgiving heart, your compassion to all the others was evidence that God's light lives in your heart~ Well done! Well said! It was truly and amazing experience and I am so glad that you felt the spirit of our children praising GOD with us that evening and throughout the weekend. To be so new to your grief, I can sense that HE has some wonderful plans and purpose for your life in ministry! You are a beautiful witness of HIS love and compassion. Love you much~ Autumn

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  5. What Autumn said, is exactly what my heart is feeling. I am a truly humbled mom. You, my precious daughter, make me want to be more like Jesus!!! I love you so much!

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  6. Love that song so glad God is showing his favor! I don't think God does this he always the devil to test us and when we put God first and still thank him through all the hurt he beats the debit again. I'm sooo proud of you ;)

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  7. Summer, How I wish I had had more time to spend with you. I think you have a lot to teach me. I wish I wasn't so shy and had taken more opportunity to talk to you more. I am so terribly sad that I had to leave, but I pray that we get a chance to talk soon, and maybe one day see each other again. You impacted my life more than I could ever tell you, and I pray for you and your family every night, just like I promised. Please text me or call when you can. God bless you..you truly are an example of His love.

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    1. Michelle,

      It was so lonely my second night :) I wish you had not had to leave. I hope you grandma is doing well. Hopefully we will meet again. <3

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  8. Summer you are AMAZING. Thats. it.

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  9. Summer, thank you for being at the retreat. No this is NOT a club moms want to be a part of but God as given us this chance to have Him shine through our horrific grief and He will. You will one day understand just how much our morning "coffee" talk has helped me...thank you. Summer, you are a wonderful person,daughter,wife,mom,friend,and christian. Please keep up this wonderful blog I am sure it has and will continue to help so many people...it has helped me and this is my first time to visit.
    I am truly blessed and honored to now call you my friend...love you
    Carrie

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    1. Carrie,

      You are an amazing strong woman. I hope we can have more morning coffee talks. I know you come this way... :) I already miss the fellowship that I had with you and the others. I am also blessed to call you friend! <3 Summer

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  10. Sweet tender mercies. Sometimes they are everything.

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