I love You, Lord
And I lift my voice
To worship You
O my soul, rejoice!
Take joy, My King, in what You hear,
Let it be, Let it be a sweet, sweet sound
In Your ear.
I can't stop singing this song (in my head I promise). I woke up with praise on the brain.
I spent the weekend in Glen Rose TX at a beautiful B&B with amazing women. A Hole in my Heart ministry is a grief group for bereaved mothers. This is a club that no one wants a membership to, but to have fellowship, praise, tears, laughter with other mothers who have experienced your pain and your grief is a gift from God. It is His kept promise to me that I will not have to go through this alone. As Autumn said after a prayer "God was all up in there". All up in there He was. The highlight for me, and I am going to do my best to recapture this moment in writing...I don't ever want to forget it!
Saturday night after a moving testimony from Susan Gray, we went into praise and worship. Heather, the praise and worship leader, placed her mic down on the table and asked that we all stand and sing the last song acapella. Nineteen women from all walks of life, all different in their journey with God, all who had lost a child stood up and as Heather began to sing I closed my eyes. I sang the song up until "O my soul, rejoice!" then I stopped. I kept my eyes closed and I listened to all the women crying to God, praising God, worshipping our Redeemer, lover of our soul. I began visioning each one of the mothers child that had gone to Heaven and I began hearing the voices of children singing. I saw our children singing in Heaven in complete unison with our praise. Tears fell one by one. For the first time in over three months the tears that fell where joyful tears. I smiled throughout the entire song. Chills spread throughout my body from the back of my neck to the tip of my toes. Joy flooded into my soul, my cup overfloweth. That was the most amazing Spirit filled moment in my life. I began singing the song again and I stood there, my hand raised, my eyes closed hoping the song would never end.
How is it that this many women, all who have experienced the most unimaginable loss could stand in a room and cry out to God, praising Him. Knowing all that has been taken, but still praising God for what has been given. It's an amazing testimony to God's strength, God's love, God's sovereignty. Most of all it's an amazing story of so many of us who have felt sorrow, who have felt the unimgainable and who clung to our faith and reached for God in the place that He found us!
John 16:22 So also you have sorrow now, but I will see you again, and your hearts will rejoice, and no one will take your joy from you. (Jesus’ words)