Thank yous go to so many! Too many to name. Thank you to everyone who reads and who comments on this blog. Sometimes I hesitate to write, I think does everyone really want to hear how sad this is, how wrecked I am? But writing, for some reason, has become this way to compartmentalize my days, my thoughts, my madness. Does it help? I would like to think so. I do know that reading the responses to each post is so uplifting and somewhat comforting. To know that my words, my story has touched others and possibly even just for moment made them remember their blessings and in that moment they remember to love the life that have been given is most rewarding.
My Husband-Thank you for your strength. Where you pull this from and how you do it daily, I don't know. I know that with all my faults you see my beauty. Let me make no bones about it...These times are tough. Our marriage is being tested moment by moment. Our smiles are few but we still have some to share. Our grief is deep, our greif is differnt but I know our love is deeper. Life for us is not like it is for others, but it is ours and even in my silence, in my anger, and in my chaos...you are my heart and with you is where I feel whole.
Dylan-Someday you will read this I am sure. Son, what an amazing young man you are. Last Saturday as we layed in your bed and just cried I have never loved you more. You have so many great qualities that to list them would actually do an injustice because the actual words are just not enough to describe all that you are. Thank you for being a source of strength for me and for Jeff. I pray for you daily, I pray for your wife, I pray for your friends, I pray that life for you is sweet and your moments of joy out weigh your sorrow. You deserve that, and I deserve to see my son grow up in just that way!
Mi Familia-I will never forget those four days surrounding Kesie's death and up to her funeral. In a time of absolute darkness and utter sorrow you all came togther and provided us with an amazing amount of strength and prayer. No one should ever have to go through this but if anyone ever does they need a family like ours to pull them through. To my father in law-thank you for so much, thank you for the "the pull up your big girl panty" speech. At the time I thought "well that was tough love" but looking back it was love and it was what I needed. In some of my hardest days I hear your voice and even if I just need to brush my teeth the memory of that speech helps. Mom-thank you for being my calm when I needed it the most. I try not to think of that day but when I do I am thankful that you picked up your phone. My crazy Nanny-yes you are crazy but you are our crazy and I love you for all you have done for me! I love you and my life would not be complete without you. Thank you for always praying for me and praying with me. You helped guide me to an everlasting love. Donna-more than a mother n law and more than a thank you a promise to you that I will do my best each day to cherish your son, to love him and a thank you to you for raising a son that makes all that so incrediably easy. Thank you for all you do!
My sisters- Heather, Jesika, Kristen and Meredith...These days would have been torcher without you all. Thank you for picking up your phone no matter what you are doing. Thank you for two hour lunches and hugs and tears and prayers. You are all amazing woman that have truly been my gift from God. Thank you for responding to all my stupid facebook posts, my blogs, thank you all for being you and being there!
My Friends-Maggie-don't even get me started! What an amazing woman you are. Your sweet spirit and your laughter...awe yes your laugh has been a true blessing. It has always but especially now. There were so many that literally droppped everything going on in their busy crazy lives to be with me, so many that to this day pick up the phone every single time I call. Just to make sure we are okay. The list is long but please know I will never forget that and your reaction to my circumstance and the impact it made on me and the strength that it gave me has changed who I am and the way I respond to others. You all have made me a better person.
Strangers-The human spirit is truly incredible. Prayers, prayers, prayers...prayers from everywhere. I will never ever doubt the power of prayer...never! That in itself is a gift that never stops giving.
There is so much good that has come from this. Don't get me wrong, I would take my shallow self back in a instant if it meant I could have Kelsie back but that it not the case so in the midst of such tragedy, I beleive being able to see all the good is a gift from God and all the people that have stood by our side, you are the only reason I can see this gift that God has given.