Thursday, December 29, 2011
My first instinct is to say that 2011 sucked. But truly only the last 2 1/2 months have been awful. The beginning of this year was amazing. I had a baby girl. I got a new position with ATT. Dylan just keeps getting more amazing. Jeff and I had really started getting this marriage thing down. Everyday life was a blessing. That changed October 13. That day will always define 2011 for me. I don't have any new years resolutions this year. I suppose this year will be filled with much sadness as we continue to walk through this journey of grief. I also know that this year, just as every year before will be filled with blessings.
Dylan is growing up so fast and will be 10 this September. I have started reading a book on parenting through the adolescent years, just to get a head start. It's a whole new world of parenting that I am excited about and yet very apprehensive. No matter what my feelings are on the matter it's coming.
Jeff and I are working through our loss, we are searching for better ways to communicate to each other. We drift, we come together, we fight, we makeup, we laugh, we cry it's the marriage roller coaster and right now it is really bumpy. Most days I just want to throw up I feel so sick but I do know that God is going to lead us out of this and what we will be on the other side is nothing short of amazing.
2011 taught me that there is only one thing that is truly promised to us...grace. In all this tragedy I feel like God has given me another chance at life, another chance to look at what is around me rather than beyond me. This year, 2012, no matter what life gives or takes away, I will "walk by faith". I will rebuild my foundation and brick by brick I will rebuild a better me