Mercy, Rain on Me

Today my love, I want to share your laugh.  I would give anything to hear that this morning.  The mornings are becoming unbearable, the days are getting harder, and the nights are sometimes ok.  I just miss you so much more than the day before.  Everyone has said that it has to get worse before it gets better, but each day I think how could tomorrow be worse.  Today I truly do not want to do anything.  I keep going back to bed and then I lay there with this "to do" list going through my head, so I get up.  I have tried to unload the dishwasher at least three different times and I still have not finished.  I can't finish anything.

This morning I woke up with your blanket on the floor, I reached down to pick up and silent tears just fell.  The blanket itself was just not good enough, I needed to feel your sweet body in that blanket.  I wanted to smell your sweet scent, the empty blanket was only a sad reminder of everything that is missing.

When I checked my email this morning there was a "Your baby at 31 weeks" I have unsubscribed to that email at least three times.  Most of the time I immediately delete them, but this morning I was just curious what your milestones this week would be.  Crawling, laughing, eating, maybe waiving (maybe that's a little advanced, but you were super smart).  Oh the life that I loved, that is missed...my sweet Kelsie.

Lord~

My prayer today is so simple, I really need the strength to finish the task that I need to complete.  Please please give me some sort of focus, some sort of purpose today.

In all I do, I will glorify you,

Summer