Today, an empty cradle, an empty heart...my little girl, just a baby, is gone. Just gone. My prayers are silent tears that fall through out the day. My loneliness is the anger (scratch that) the rage that boils just at the surface of every emotion. My love, well, my love is the breathe of my husband, my son and every family member and friend whose prayers and support are all I have. My strength...there is none...it is just gone. My heart beats, this is true but there are only moments where I can actually feel it. I made a video, why do I torture myself, I don't know but I just want to see you, to feel you so bad...my photographs of memories past, it's all I have of you today, and all of my tomorrows. I continue to watch over and over sobbing more the next time than the last. Healing is so far away...
Monday, November 21, 2011
Just Gone
Today, an empty cradle, an empty heart...my little girl, just a baby, is gone. Just gone. My prayers are silent tears that fall through out the day. My loneliness is the anger (scratch that) the rage that boils just at the surface of every emotion. My love, well, my love is the breathe of my husband, my son and every family member and friend whose prayers and support are all I have. My strength...there is none...it is just gone. My heart beats, this is true but there are only moments where I can actually feel it. I made a video, why do I torture myself, I don't know but I just want to see you, to feel you so bad...my photographs of memories past, it's all I have of you today, and all of my tomorrows. I continue to watch over and over sobbing more the next time than the last. Healing is so far away...
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It's ok, to not always be strong. It's ok to grieve. We are sharing your tears. And holding you up in prayers.
ReplyDeleteJessica...that was so sweet to hear...thank you!
ReplyDeleteMy heart aches for you soo much
ReplyDeleteBeautiful. My heart breaks for you and for your family.
ReplyDeleteOh sweet Summer, how I value your authentic vulnerability.
ReplyDeleteThis is for you tonight:
If you weep, I will weep with you
If you sing for joy the rest of us will lift our voices too
But no matter what you feel inside there's no need to pretend
That's the way it is in this circle of friends
In a circle of friends
We have one father
In a circle of friends we share this prayer
That we'll gather together no matter how the highway bends
I will not lose this circle of friends
*Circle of friends, Point of Grace
A friend going through a similar siutation as you recently posted this quote:
ReplyDelete"They say that time in heaven is compared to 'the blink of an eye for us on this earth. Sometimes it helps me to think of my child running ahead of me through a beautiful field of wildflowers and butterflies; so happy and completely caught up in what she is doing that when she looks behind her, I'll already be there."
~Author Unknown