Moving on and healing

You would have had so much fun with us yesterday.  Dylan and I woke up early, Dylan played video games and I made breakfast for him.  There were several times I looked over my shoulder and imagined you sitting in your little chair, playing with your owl.  I loved my morning time with you...I cherished that time together.  I made Dylan's favorite breakfast and before he sat down to eat he hugged me and "you are the best mom ever,"  at that moment I decided that today was the first step in moving on and feeling what life is going to be without you and although you are not here I have to find happiness and in those moments of joy I can not feel bad that I feel joy in the wake of your death.  I do have so much to be thankful for.

Brother played the Steelers yesterday.  I took him to his game. You have been my little football partner all season, we loved going to Brother's games (as long as it was not 112 outside).  I missed you!  The weather was perfect you would have loved being there.  Everyone wore purple and silver ribbons in memory of you.  It was nice seeing all the support, love and prayers from both teams yet at the same time it was a reminder that you were not with me.  Dylan played as amazing game...as always, he is an amazing athlete!  They did loose and looks like for the first time the Texans will not make it to the playoffs.

After the game, Papa, Dylan and Dad went shopping for pumpkins and Nana, Adrianna and Mom went to Hobby Lobby to get some paint and carving tools.  We had a pumpkin carving party.  We had so much fun.  I put the jawbone jambox outside, Adrianna danced and Dylan rolled his eyes.  (even though we both know that if there hadn't been an audience he would have been dancing :)  Adrianna and I painted our pumpkins and Dylan and Dad carved their pumpkins.  We ordered pizza and a great time.  Every now then I imagined you there.  I imagined your smile.  I missed you but we were all able to put the sadness of your death aside and enjoy the family we have here and remember that your legacy, your smile, your love will only carry on through our laughter and through our love for each other.