"Corrie," he began, "do you know what hurts so very much? It's love. Love is the strongest force in the world, and when it is blocked that means pain. There are two things we can do with love when this happens. We can kill the pain so that it stops hurting. But then of course part of us dies too. Or, Corrie, we can ask God to open up another route for that love to travel." (The Hiding Place, Corrie Ten Boom)
Tonight I beg You, I plead, please don't let my love for Kelsie die just because the pain is so deep and the ache is groaning for comfort, a comfort that this world cannot offer. Oh God you know more than anyone the depth of this pain. I do not want to coward away from the pain. I look to You, Abba, prepare for me another route for Kelsie's love to travel. I don't want that love to die just because I can't hold her now, I want that love to always be a part of me. I want her love to stay with me and I want for that love to honor You, may her love be my love offering to You. Let me face the pain, but only with You, knowing You, seeking You, and praising You. Praising you, singing to You, when facing what is all around me, I can because my faith, my love, my pursuit is You. The crazy thing is, I know that my faith, my love and my pursuit of You is only because of Your mercy, Your grace, Your love and pursuit of me.
Father, I can't wrap my head around your absolute perfection, I can't fathom how I can be washed white as snow in Your holy presence. Father, protect me from the enemy, he wants me, he seeks me at most vulnerable times, he tells me I can't do this, he tells me others don't care. He is malicious, evil, he is fear, doubt, condemnation.
Father, You are my salvation, You are my strong tower, Your love endures, Your promises are true and You are close to my broken heart. I am not alone, I have nothing to fear, and the Cross is my perfect reminder that Your grace is sufficient, even for a ragamuffin like myself.