Touch

Then Isaiah said to Hezekiah, “Hear the word of the Lord Almighty: The time will surely come when everything in your palace, and all that your fathers have stored up until this day, will be carried off to Babylon. Nothing will be left, says the Lord. And some of your descendants, your own flesh and blood who will be born to you, will be taken away, and they will become eunuchs in the palace of the king of Babylon.”

“The word of the Lord you have spoken is good,” Hezekiah replied. For he thought, “There will be peace and security in my lifetime.” (Isaiah 39:5-8)

It's going to get harder before it gets easier. It is, I know it. I feel it, my heart is broken because of it. Bow down, beloved, submit to My will. The day my daughter began her eternal life with Christ, I weighed 400 pounds. The heaviness of that wound, the darkness of the unknown, the murky black fog the wraps around every part of your being...bow down. Bow Down to His will. Embrace His ability to work in my circumstance. Submit to His will. There will be peace and security in my lifetime, today. My hope is no longer in what the world can give, my hope is in the One, the Lord God Almighty.

Revelation 12:11 They overcame him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony: they did not love their lives so much as to shrink from death.

Death! You will not shrink me, I have felt your sting but you have not poisoned me. My wound that you were sure I was going to leave gaping and bleeding is, with God's grace healing. Many wounds are still there, but there are precious scars, there is healing.

Through me God has given this tender scar for the brokenhearted to see, to feel. And my scars are not hidden so if you are filled with doubt on how can God can be good? How can I live through this? Ask me, let me show you my scar, reach out and feel the parts of my wound that have been bound up by Christ.

Psalm 62:11 One thing God has spoken, two things I have heard: that you, O God, are strong, and that you, O Lord, are loving.

Each and every day I have to make an allegiance to trust God, to trust that in His time, my pain, my sorrow, my affliction, my grievances will bind up Psalm 147:3 He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds. I have to trust that on the other side of this wound is healing. The healing is in His perfect will for my life. With gentleness I must bow before my Abba, cry out to Him and say, "The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away; may the name of the Lord be praised". I pray daily for the grace and the trust that I need to allow God's binding, to put way my desire to heal my wound and allow the one that is Faithful and True to be my healer.

In this journey I have set in the midst of many who are suffering. Suffering, even in my loss, that I see as unimaginable. My heart and my eyes cry, God's spirit in me aches for those who long for their Healer. I ask God, why me? Why did He make such a powerful presence in my life and not in theirs. Allow them to touch your scar, tell them who your healer is.

So the other disciples told him, “We have seen the Lord!” But he said to them, “Unless I see the nail marks in his hands and put my finger where the nails were, and put my hand into his side, I will not believe it.” A week later his disciples were in the house again, and Thomas was with them. Though the doors were locked, Jesus came and stood among them and said, “Peace be with you!” Then he said to Thomas, “Put your finger here; see my hands. Reach out your hand and put it into my side. Stop doubting and believe.” Thomas said to him, “My Lord and my God!” (John 20:25-28)