"BAM"

Believe: To have firm faith, especially religious faith.
John 6:47 "Truly, truly, I say to you, he who believes has eternal life"

Faith: Complete trust or confidence in someone or something
Hebrews 11:1 Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen.

Trust: reliance on another person or entity.
Proverbs 3:5 Trust in the LORD with all your heart And do not lean on your own understanding.

Believe, Have Faith, Trust in the LORD.  Oh how tenderly the Lord has swayed my heart to search for Him, learn from Him, long for Him.

As a young girl I believed in the LORD.  Jesika and I at a very young age had three influential people that represented Christ's love for us.  Our Nanny, Ebe and Granny.  As a child it is easy to believe in God.  Your prayers are so simple, you sing songs at Sunday school, you learn the stories of Jesus, you learn about Noah's Ark, you learn about creation, and you believe it because everyone else you know believes it.  You accept Jesus into your heart because you are scared to death of hell.  I am not saying this is not authentic, in fact Jesus encourages us to have childlike faith. 

Mark 10:13-16 He was indignant and said to them, "Permit the children to come to Me; do not hinder them; for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these. "Truly I say to you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God like a child shall not enter it at all." And He took them in His arms and began blessing them, laying His hands upon them.

The simplicity of this belief can get a little muddy when you have quenched the Holy Spirit, put away your armor and have decided for the last twelve years of your life to live it your way.  I could still see God and His love for me and on many many occasions I felt His pull.  I just didn't need Him.  The battle was exhausting and I was doing just fine on my own.  I put my faith in myself, I believed in God but didn't understand His "realness" my faith and my trust was all in me myself and I. 

Then life ripped apart. All that I thought I was in control of became sand that drifted through my fingertips.  Tiny grains of sand falling one by one.  I fell and when I say "fell" I mean knees give out, hips hit the ground, wrist popping and head concussion kind of fall.  On the ground, as I drift in and out of consciousness, the image of Jesus' feet are beside me.  I clung to those feet, I had faith that the Lord was the only one who could walk with me so intimately during this time.  For almost seven months I have stood so firm in my faith.  God is real, He is my Abba.  I love Him.

Do you trust Him?

The past several days, God has brought me to the cross again and again.  I would read scripture about salvation, Hebrews 1 was brought to the table over and over.  I kept telling God, "Lord, I believe I really really believe."  God was not satisfied with that answer, He knew the exact part of my heart that needed change.  Again and again...the cross, salvation. 

Twice in conversation the Jacob vs God wrestling match was brought up.  I thought to myself, "right now I am wrestling with God."  There is something that He needs me to do, there is something I am not getting.  So God gently guided me to Jesus and taught me how He consistently brought everything, with prayer and petition, to the Lord.  So I prayed "Lord I don't get it, I am sorry, I don't understand."

God began walking me through peace.  We held hands and walked through Job together.  Job is bittersweet.  I fought back tears as I read the conversation between God and Satan.  I was encouraged by the fact that God had complete say in what Satan could and could not do.  I was terrified by the fact that the Lord allowed Satan to strip away everything.  We walked through Peace in the Life of Christ.  God revealed to me the peace that Jesus had even at the young age of 12 (Luke 2:41-52).  All the while I am not jiving, there is something more. I don't have the sustaining peace that Jesus had..  Then "bam" the Lord brought it all together for me.

Phil 4:19 And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus.

Romans 8:32 He who did not spare His own Son, but delivered Him over for us all, how will He not also with Him freely give us all things?

And the question:

Summer, do you trust in My promise to "graciously give all things"

My response: "Lord, I need to pray for trust in this.  I am in the pit of grief, I stopped on the Lord taketh.  My trust is a little shaken right now"

Today, during bible study, the Lord said so sweet and so tenderly, "Just bring that to me.  I know this is hard for you, I know your heart." 

I told Jaci, I am about to crawl up in Jesus' lap tonight and spend some time entrusting Him with my life.  To believe I have to have faith and to have faith I have to trust.  They intertwine in the definitions, and much more so through out God's word.  Beth Moore says this "Satan will most certainly steal our joy if he can undermine our peace.  Striving, churning, tossing, turning, bitter, burning, never learning..."  My peace is dull without trusting, even though my pain is sharp, I have to trust in the Lord...truly truly trust in the Lord.  Trust, He gives and He takes away.  Trust in this gift of joy that He has given me.  It is true and it is real.  Trust in this amazing faith that has also been gifted to me.  I can trust in His promise to "graciously give us all things".  I have to toss out my ever mind churning understanding and trust in His grace that pours over me, minute by minute!  Tonight I am back at the feet of Jesus grasping on to His heel.  Once again He gently reaches for my hand with His scared hands.  He pulls me up, smiles at me and continues our walk holding my hand.  God whispers "my Son, my only Son walks beside you with scared hands, my sacrifice for your salvation. I love you. Surely you can trust me?" 

I can, I will, I do.

Yours Truly,
Summer

Cross references:

1. Romans 8:32 : John 3:16; Rom 5:8
2. Romans 8:32 : Rom 4:25