Backing up a couple of days ago, Friday to be specific. My awesome friend, Jaci Jackson, and I are doing the Beth More study, Living Beyond Yourself. We met Friday, I was telling Jaci about my knot and she said "you know I had a knot once and I prayed for the Lord to take it away, and he did" My reaction was "wow, that's great" my thought was "Summer why would you not pray about this knot???" So I prayed for the Lord to take this knot away. I prayed Friday evening, I prayed Friday night before I went to bed. I prayed all day Saturday about the knot and everything in between. Today I thanked God. My knot is gone. I can still feel a little anxiety in the bottom of my throat...that may sound odd but I have a little anxiety air bubble in the bottom of my throat that's been there since 4:00 pm October 13, 2011.
Yesterday I decided to take my little pink thumb somewhere it's never been...green. I planted Sweat Peas, orange and yellow Magnolias, trimmed up shrubs, potted lavender, daisies, and sweet basil. To wake up on April 1st to all this new life growing in and around my house is a little symbolic to how I feel. I am not trying to get all earthy on everyone here, but for the past two and half weeks I have been lifeless. I have been buried under the grief. It has only been in the last week that I have slowly eased out of it. I made myself run everyday last week. I truly believe that I must take care of my physical state. I pulled out my Bible again, began praying full sentences versus the bear murmurs before. So today, April 1, I have come out on the other side of that grief stricken wave. Just to be clear coming out of a wave does not mean that I am in the clear, but I have learned there is a clear difference between grieving and being buried under your grief. There is a difference between you grieving and the grieving controlling you and your thoughts. So today I am grieving...not grief struck.
|Yellow and Orange Magnolias with planted Sweat Peas in the big planter.|
Each flower I planted had meaning behind it.
Sweat Peas and Daisies are Kelsie's birth flowers.
The meaning of Daisies: Innocence, Loyal Love, I'll Never Tell, Purity
Sweet Peas: Good-bye, Departure, Blissful Pleasure, Thank You for a Lovely Time
I planted the orange Magnolias for the Wiggins family in honor of there sweet little boy Damon who passed away this last week.
I planted yellow/golden Magnolias with the orange representing Damon's favorite color, gold representing the color fit for a King, our King, Jesus. I prayed the Lord would be with their family as they now enter into this life long journey.
Lavender: my mom said it helped with bugs
Sweet Basil: it smelled amazing...too good to pass up.
|My Potted Shasta Daisies.|
So here's hoping that I can keep them all alive.