In the recent weeks I have really worked at committing myself, my mornings, to spend time with God. Reading, praying, praising, loving, crying. I am reading A Praying Life: Connecting with God in a Distracting World by Paul Miller. This has really allowed me to gain insight on prayer and what it really means to say "I will pray for you" and what Paul meant when he wrote "Pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances." (1 Thessalonians 5:17-18).
I spent an hour praying for Dylan yesterday morning. Thanking God for an amazing son. I started my prayer with Guide me, teach me, and help me with Dylan. Ooops...well we all know that it is through trials and difficult situations that we learn best. So Dylan woke up Sunday morning filled with this stuff called adolescent testosterone (attitude). I spent part of my morning cooking breakfast, preparing his favorite, french toast. I used fresh french bread made it special just for him with cinnamon and sugar. I cooked bacon, knowing that he loves bacon with his french toast. I am about to get the best mom ever hug, I am just sure of it. I mean I just spent an hour praying for this right? Well it went something like this:
He literally spit out his first bite of bacon...it was too soggy...he proceeded to the bathroom gagging because it just made him sick to eat such a soggy piece of bacon. "Oh Lord I already need patience, just let him see Jesus, let him see Jesus through my actions". Five minutes proceeding that fiasco he pushes his plate to the side and says, "no offense mom, but that french toast is too soggy as well, I can not eat the middle of it". I literally was crushed...no mom of the year hug for me..."never cease praying, never cease praying...oh Lord what do I pray for now?" Well I give him the whole don't ask for anything else to eat speech, starving kids around the world, blah blah, I could tell by the look on his face I sounded like Charlie Brown's teacher. That's just the beginning of the morning, that sweet little boy told me "no" he would not clean the coffee table, he talked back at least twice. This was within a ten minute time frame. My mind is racing "what am I suppose to do here, Lord help me out here, I am about to loose it." A commercial for the Superbowl came on...yep..."Well actually Dylan yes you will clean the coffee table and while you are cleaning the coffee table I will write a list of all the chores you will do, and you complete them all because from this point on you are going to have to earn you way back to going to the Superbowl party you have so eagerly been looking forward to. Tears just gushed from his eyes, " I can't go to the Superbowl party?" "No, you have to earn that back" So long story short, my entire downstairs was swept, and mopped, toilets cleaned, bedroom spotless. I even got a couple of smiles as he was on his hands and knees cleaning my floor...yep we skipped the mop! I prayed constantly throughout this time...mostly "what is going on Lord" "What is this lesson you teach?" I was able to stay calm through out this whole time. I never raised my voice. My feelings where so hurt and that's when I do most of the yelling, but through prayer I was able to stay calm.
"Guide me, teach me and help me"...that He did...not the way I had it planned out in my head and I didn't even realize my prayers had been answered until I wrote this. I was going to write sometimes we don't know or can't see the answers. But as yesterday morning became a story on my blog, I realized, God did answer exactly what I had asked for. I jotted down a quote from The Praying Life t I wrote this just above my prayer yesterday, "speak less to your kids, and more to God". Without realizing that is exactly what I was doing all morning, I had a complete interaction with Dylan while praying the entire time. It didn't make that morning any easier, in fact my feelings where just terribly hurt with Dylan's actions, but to look back now and see the patience I exhibited, and never raising my voice...well that alone is answered prayer.
After all the cleaning was done, Dylan and I had a fabulous morning and afternoon together. We cuddled up on the couch, watched Real Steel, I did get that best mom of the year hug and Dylan did get to go to the Super Bowl party with his dad and my house was clean as a whistle! :)