John 16:33 I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.”
My Sweet Sweet Song,
So many days have passed since I have held you, since I have smelled that sweet baby smell. Months actually, but you are as close to my heart as you were the moment I saw two pink lines. You have left my arms, but my heart is where you will forever stay. I can't express how much I miss you. I think about everything so constantly, sometimes I smile but mostly I cry because the emptiness is so raw. This morning I will have to put one foot in front of the other and move on. Another day of healing, of wading my through all that this has become. The days of prayer are ongoing. I am not afraid to die any longer, but unfortunately as with most of the women in our family I am probably going to out live everyone and die around 90 something. So for me it will be awhile. My sweet girl, your memories are so treasured your spirit is so loved, I wonder how I will do this. How long can I keep going, can I keep moving forward? Last night I found two tubs of Aquaphor that I had waiting for you. I never wanted your little hiney to get raw I used that stuff every diaper change. I wanted to fall to my knees, I wanted to throw it out the window. I just crunched over and cried silently, breathed in and breathed out, brought myself to an upright position and moved forward. That's it, that's all you can do. Today will be a just get through it day, I haven't had one in a awhile. I woke up and the missing was on the surface of my heart...today I will miss you, I will cry through all this day brings. Tomorrow will be better.
I love you Kelsie Sloane,
Always in my heart~
When the missing is so raw, I have to find peace in you Lord. Walk me through today, help me cling to the peace that you promise. Allow the missing to hurt, but make sure it heals while it hurts. Allow me to grieve gracefully, so that through my grief you are glorified.