Throughout one of my hardest days yet, yesterday, I thought about Mary. I thought about God, I thought about the life he took away and then I thought of the life, the son, he sacrificed. A comment on my blog yesterday said something to chord of "your faith is now ten fold" in the depth of despair my immediate reaction was, if asked by God to have more faith but loose your child, would you? We all know we would not, given the choice. Our children are so precious to us, even today knowing God's grace in a different light, if he said you can have Kelsie back but you will not have the same amount of faith I would take Kelsie back. But the comment and the turth of the comment stayed with me all day. I thought about Mary alot, and what she must have gone through seeing Jesus on the cross, and then dying so horrifically. Knowing the goodness and love that was her son, and seeing him crucified and torn apart. I guess I have never looked at the resurrection from a Mother's point of view until now. I then felt compelled to read about Mary.
"They crucified Him. Now there stood by
the cross of Jesus, His Mother. When Jesus therefore had seen His Mother
and the disciple standing whom he loved, He saith to His Mother: Woman:
behold thy son. After that he saith to the disciple: Behold thy Mother" (John XIX: l8, 25-27).
When I looked in the heart of Mary on that day, a sad Mother drowned in a sea of sorrow,
seeing her beloved Son, part of her very self, cruelly nailed to the shameful
tree of the cross. I thought about how every blow of the hammer, how every stripe
which fell on Jesus' body, fell also on the sweet spirit His mother. As she stood at the foot of the cross, pierced by the unbearable sorrow, she turned her eyes on Him, until she knew that He lived no
longer and had resigned His spirit to His Eternal Father.
It was through Mary's eyes, Mary's heart, that I found comfort. I suppose loosing Kelsie allowed me to fully recognize the significance of Jesus. I saw God in the light of Man, He knew that he would have to sacrifice His son, a man, so that we, me, us, would understand His love. Not just love like in the song "Jesus loves me" but truly deeply a love that surpasses all understanding and without conditions. He knew Mary would kneel someday at the foot of the cross and she would weep so deeply for her Son. He knew that Jesus would cry to Him "Father why have You forsaken me?" God did it all so that today as I write and I cry I know His Grace is my comfort. So that on the days when my thoughts are clear, I can rejoice and know that Kelsie is in heaven and that no matter the choices I have made or will make I have the promise of Heaven as well.
I CHOOSE Love . God's sacrifice was because he so loved the world. When you ask, Summer what can I do for you, I ask that we Choose love. We choose love not just when it's easy, but make that choice when it's hard...when it matters. Smile at people more, let the crazy driver cut with out the finger, love your friends, your sister, your brother even if they don't want it.
God's blessings are not about, the children you are blessed with, the promotion you have been blessed with, the husband you have been blessed with, the new car you have been blessed with, the friends you have been blessed with, God's true blessing is the one thing that can never die, never be taken away...it is His love and the sacrifice He made for us, in return as His children we should at least try to make a conscious effort to CHOOSE to love one another.
~God is a mighty teacher!