Monday, October 24, 2011

My Refuge

I am so thankful for the numerous messages, texts, voice mails, prayers and thoughts of others.  The human spirit is truly amazing!  Today my Brother in Law sent me a message that I would like to share.  He and my sister have an amazing source Faith that I have seen grow and evolve over the years I am blessed to have them in my life.  Here is his message and my response:

Hey lil sis,

I think about yall everyday and pray multiple times a day for His peace and comfort to surround all of you. My want is to make the hurt all go away, to somehow fix it all and allow you to wake up from this nightmare. I was glad to see that Sat was a fun day for everyone, you deserve those kind of days.

Yesterday in church the worship team sang a song that really hit me hard. It is My Hope is in You. It reminded me that this life is not always easy, it isn't what I want most days, but in the end, our hope is in Him and our eternal existence with Him. It reminded me that while my mood sways, my emotions are twisted continually, my vision of life changes over time, that at the core of my being, I am forever held by Him. I hope it gives you some comfort also.

Over the last few weeks, a lot has gone on with both sides of the family (Heather and mine) and continues to. This led me to think of 2 people, David and Job. David was the man after God's own heart, but his life was in disarray much of the time. Job was the faithful follower, yet took the brunt of what Satan could give. Both never lost their faith or joy in the Lord and neither ever lost their hope in Him (they got angry, yelled at Him, were confused, etc, but never turned away from Him). I have to imagine when they felt the sting of their children's death, they must have wondered what God had in mind for their lives, but in the end, God used them both to have an everlasting impact on this world. The key though is that God was right there with them every step of the way, allowing them to learn on their own, pick them up when they fell and to step in when Satan went to far. He is there with each of us doing the same thing.

Your mourning will one day cease, and when that days comes, your eyes will be allowed to see a glimmer of His plan. On that day, not only will the Lord be there to start guiding you, but you will see how Kelsie has and will make an impact on the world around you.

My Response:

Thank you Drew for that. I have drawn closer to God in these passing days than I have ever. Somehow I have just known that God is the only sense of peace that I am going to have. My strength has no doubt been His Grace! Even though my faith for the past 10 years has been lacking He has never left my side. You know I stutter through my prayers, my Bible is still tucked away but He does not care, his Grace is sufficient even for me and that is the true power of Christ and the reason he died on the cross. I can't express how much having you and Heather has helped me throughout all of this. I see the strength of your faith and God put you both in my life I believe for this very moment because He knew that I would need to feel the strength of your prayers and believe in the strength of see it as it it should be! I love you!! Thank you.


  1. I love you so very much!!! My pain is so deep for you. I know it comes no where close to your pain. I want to hold you and never let you go. You are so amazing. I prayer God's Grace over you, Jeff and Dylan all day long. I am humbled and honered to be your mom.

  2. He is holding you all so very close.