Thursday, January 1, 2015


News Years Resolution numero uno is going well.
De Clutter - too much stuff - too much clutter

Going through drawers, boxes, and baskets in an effort to sale, donate, or keep. 

Inevitably through all the eagerness to get my home organized and ready for twenty-fifteen, I come across notes, letters, pictures, clothes, memories, and more.  Many things that I could never part with. 

A card, written shortly after October 13.  A Dear Summer letter to bring comfort to a shattered heart.  As I open up the card I am immediately back to that time, the end of 2011.  The pain of those memories race through my veins. The knots in the depth of my soul that have somewhat become weaker find their strength again and grip onto to center of my throat.  Tears flow and I can't help but begin to read.

I have been praying blessings over you and your family.  I asked God for a word for you and this is what HE said...
My daughter,

Kelsie is with Me.  She is smiling over you. I have you in My hand and I will not let go.  You are no accident.  My plans and purposes for you are far greater and wider than you even realize.  Trust in Me.  Follow as I lead you.  You are becoming who I created you to be.  You are like Hannah.  You have surrendered your child to Me and I am glorified.  I will give back to you the years the locusts have eaten and I will redeem the time, and the blessings will be upon you.  Joy is coming.  Kelsie cannot be replaced, but the joy will be multiplied.  I am your God and I bring you joy and strength.  You are a leader among women.  Teaching, instructing, and ministering.  Healing will come and you will bring healing to many.

I wonder what those words meant to me then, or was it just for such a time.  Alone in my dark room, indian style next to my unmade bed, twenty fifteen, over three years later.

a resolution for the broken hearted
i want to believe again
restoration of a broken heart
surrender of the pain i grip so tight
in effort to never loose her memory
a new way of grieving
a better way of living
a choice of love a choice of faith
stand firm in his plan and his purpose
for my family
despite the disappointments
despite what has been taken
blessings aren't nouns
they can't be counted
remember the cross, his sacrifice
the one true blessing
i will be with her again
don't loose sight of that
do not let your brokenness

1 comment:

  1. There are blessings in brokenness. See all through the Cross. He will redeem all this hurt, even when we can't imagine how... But it will be well and better than we can ever imagine. When I first met you at Haven of Hope, you read Scripture out loud to our group... You showed that there is POWER in God's Word. One day at a time, one step at a time... Press on. Love you and praying for you. <3 Kelsie! <3