Tuesday, October 28, 2014

The Monster

It was probably around ten years ago that my sister, Jesika, and I grabbed our littlest sister from the grip of an evil evil man.  We stalked her for days trying to figure out where she was.  Some real "true detective" stuff.  We found her, we marched up to the tweakers front door and dragged her out of there.    Unfortunately, for us and for our family, my beautiful sister, had already dibbled into the monster and that monster had and has a tight grip on her. 

Her soul
Her heart
Her smile
Her skin
Her teeth
Her personality

The list of craziness goes on and on from that day a little over ten years ago.  Should haves and would haves race through my mind as I think about her today.  I don't have any type of relationship with her, I can't, I can't stand her, can't look at her, can't speak to her without venom spewing from my heart to the tips of my lips.  The monster does a crazy thing to those you love.  Her first baby was born blind-her dad left her in a bathtub alone, she drowned-nearly died at my wedding.  Kristen, my sister, showed up drunk to Kelsie's funeral.  The monster will consume all addictions if he can not be at your beck and call. 

Last year
Ivory was ran over
by her dad.
Ivory is blind

WHY was she left unattended with a moving vehicle?

The monster-"a foggy mind- better for me to live in, my pretty". 

Kristen's latest
monster positive

After her newest baby, we call her Emma, was born.  "i was tired" said the monster "i just needed a bit".   A sweet baby girl two weeks old, is left alone with her evil dad, who is wrapped into the monsters unrelenting grip.  Kristen can not be around her baby, CYFD says.   My heart is torn between anger, sadness, love, anger, yes mostly anger.  The monster has striped away everything from her, now her kids, who are absolutely worse off with their dad.  Can she hear her own soul speaking to her, or is the monsters voice, the monsters side all she hears.

Just    one    more   hit   and     this   will    be  better.

I don't pray much these days, but God if you can hear me, drown out the monsters voice, give her voice a chance to be heard.  Not for me, not for her, but for her three precious children.  They don't have a chance if they have to compete with the monster for their entire life. 

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