Her absence is darkness, her life is a light for my soul. My hope is so frail, some days I stand firm some days I am torn away even though I hold on like hell. Tears fall from my eyes, in the same moment, I smile and even laugh. The sun still shines bright and it feels so good on my skin, I miss her so much nothing should feel good at all. My heart is broken and with a tender word, a precious hug, a tender mercy, a tiny piece of the brokenness is healed. Her memories bring a precious warmth to my heart and a piercing pain to my soul. I miss her yesterday's so much, even worse I miss her today's. The silence stings but allows me the time I need to silently grieve. The world couldn't comprehend this pain, I wouldn't want it too. I hold on to her every. single. day. I hold on to her. Never forgetting her face, her touch, her smell, her laughter. I have left behind the woman I was with her, that piece of me is missing, but her, she is always with me as close as close can be.