tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7556378367719178913.post8129952333576748354..comments2023-04-15T05:02:20.456-05:00Comments on My Sweet Sweet Song: It's MessyAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02189194454215770987noreply@blogger.comBlogger10125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7556378367719178913.post-74026834687379521402011-12-14T14:32:41.792-06:002011-12-14T14:32:41.792-06:00Ahh, yes, the black, it so needs to be. And yes, i...Ahh, yes, the black, it so needs to be. And yes, it's crazy when people ask, but knowing they are people who just want you to know they care. Surely they know that nobody is fine. One day you will be fine, pretty girl, one day you will be. It won't be the same as it was a few months ago, but it won't be this constant torment and pain. Eventually, and who knows when, the painful days will be so very spaced apart that your body and ,ind will be able to vacation from it in a strange way. I say strange because it never ever leaves your mind, but at least it isn't torment. Seems like it took a year for my bed to quit shaking when I slept in it, and I mean that literally. It shook because my body never quit shaking. I know because Greg and Aarons grandmother and anyone whoever slept next to me mentioned it. I told Jess it seemed like it was from April to Feb that I felt some hint or whisper of hope around the corner. Eventually, about a couple of years ago, I even hit a point of thinking I would never ever be sad, horribly sad again, but that was another phase. So many phases, but what happens is that time does pass and at first little tiny pieces of happiness creep in, then bigger pieces, then the sorrow comes less, is less crushing. Finally, and it does happen so fast, finally, so much time has passed and when you least expect it, boom, there is the huge heavy weight of it. It's no longer about the anniversaries or anything except maybe some sensory thing like the weather or a certain smell. But now, nearly eight years later, it doesn't stay forever the way it once did. Christmas is always a toughie for me, but it may not be for you since Christmas memories won't be there concerning Kelsie specifically. Now, today, I mostly feel like Rip Van Winkle who slept for so many years and so much passed. Other people got on with their lives while mine slept. Now I feel funny saying too much about him, not because of me, but because I feel that I've worn others out with it. But I never ever quit thinking about that boy, I never want to quit, I just say less. I tell you these things not out of knowing it all, but just sort of half remembering myself because I used to ask everyone, "How long?" your writing is beautiful. I read it earlier at Jess's on the framed pictures of you little girls, and I am telling you again, you are allowed much at this point, so use it because when you have these kind of days much later on, it will bewilder those who aren't close to you, so rest, baby, rest, cry, binge, watch movies with your sister, laugh hysterically, record everything, shop and know that your Father and family and friends are here, you can fall back on us and we will catch you! Can't use paragraphs here with my iPad or who knows maybe I can but as far as I'm concerned, this comment is just one run on sentence anyway. I love you, precious baby girl!De'on Millerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14599141539917861219noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7556378367719178913.post-76045296978342439942011-12-12T15:16:42.123-06:002011-12-12T15:16:42.123-06:00Came here from Whit's site.
I pray for peace a...Came here from Whit's site.<br />I pray for peace and love in your heart, and above all, I pray that you have another baby soon, so you can live life again and be grateful that you had six months with your previous princess.<br />ZSA_MD.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7556378367719178913.post-43273031756396904772011-12-12T14:57:10.673-06:002011-12-12T14:57:10.673-06:00I'm Whitneys Aunt Marsha...I am so very sorry ...I'm Whitneys Aunt Marsha...I am so very sorry for the loss of your baby girl. I lost my oldest son to cancer, but I had him for 28 years, that was almost 9 years ago and it still seems like yesterday. I think the thing that has helped me the most was the chaplain at the hospital talked to me one day, she said "you've been acting like your son is your possession when he actually belongs to God, you are his caretaker on earth but he is Gods child". We are all Gods children and he will take care of us...I found some peace in those thoughts...I hope you find Peace also and wear black for as long as you want...Hugs and Prayers for you and yours....MarshaAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7556378367719178913.post-45942972529123146952011-12-12T13:08:08.236-06:002011-12-12T13:08:08.236-06:00Whit sent me too.I am a dad to two girls. I can on...Whit sent me too.I am a dad to two girls. I can only imagine your pain.I am very very sorry for your loss.<br />You will be in my prayers.<br />Stay strong.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7556378367719178913.post-10294799866974643062011-12-12T11:28:57.989-06:002011-12-12T11:28:57.989-06:00I'm so sorry for your loss, Whit sent me over ...I'm so sorry for your loss, Whit sent me over here. Just know we're all praying for you. hugs!!!<br />tempguestbrief from xangaAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7556378367719178913.post-7515151013260890432011-12-10T22:10:45.683-06:002011-12-10T22:10:45.683-06:00I just recently discovered your blog. If you don&#...I just recently discovered your blog. If you don't mind me asking, how did your baby pass away? I am very sorry for your loss.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7556378367719178913.post-49099861319120492702011-12-10T09:57:41.343-06:002011-12-10T09:57:41.343-06:00Yesterday SUCKED!!!!! I couldn't figure it out...Yesterday SUCKED!!!!! I couldn't figure it out, there were really no triggers, just overwhelming saddness and anger, I was mad at the world and that is not me. Then this morning I read this blog and I knew. My saddness is for you, my anger is because I will never hear her call me granma. It seems my waves are your waves, my soul just knows when your days are unbearable and I can't do a damn thing about it, and that just makes me angry! People are constantly asking me how I'm doing, how's Summer, how's Jeff and I say, okay, but I'm thinking why, why do you ask because you really don't want to know the truth, because it isn't pretty. Our family will never be the same, but I have to believe that someday, someday we will be better. Until then, baby girl, we will ride the waves with you and know that Jesus will carry us through. I love you so much, momAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7556378367719178913.post-55345607356863212522011-12-10T00:05:41.307-06:002011-12-10T00:05:41.307-06:00I pray that you do take time to grieve. It is a pr...I pray that you do take time to grieve. It is a process, and must be sorted through properly. When those emotions do rise, feel them, embrace the wave, and wait for the tide to bring you back to shore. I think that's why they took a year to wear black to grieve. You need it. <br /><br />I know I can not do much to help you, but I also pray that I can intercede with prayer, and somedaysaybe pray for the things you can not. I know God hears every prayer your heart makes enjoy that rest when you can. <br /><br />I will pray and hope for precious time with sisters, and little traffic!!High Heels to Spitup Spillshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00336473047943869892noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7556378367719178913.post-82610716889155027682011-12-09T23:43:36.512-06:002011-12-09T23:43:36.512-06:00Summer, I feel the same way so often. I think how...Summer, I feel the same way so often. I think how can everything just keep moving so fast when for so long it is like our world has stopped? Some days I am cruising along, going with the speed of life around me and then like you put it another wave comes and the burden of grief that I carry day to day just comes. And somehow the Lord in his mercy gives me the grace to keep going and even find joy in today. I really do not know if there will be a time that tears/joy/sorrow are not all intermingled in my life. I too am just so thankful for hope.Jacihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01517789252897657360noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7556378367719178913.post-17851163273442606662011-12-09T23:22:27.609-06:002011-12-09T23:22:27.609-06:00I wish I could help make you feel better. I know ...I wish I could help make you feel better. I know I can't and I know it's not much, but anytime you want to pile up and watch cheesy Lifetime movies and eat a bunch of food, I'm your girl! You don't have to prepare anything or clean the house or anything. Just jammies, food, and Valerie Bertinelli. Girls' movie night, anytime! -JessAnonymousnoreply@blogger.com